I Striked .

Taken aback.

2011-09-18T09:57:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA what a joke ! Finally I visited this dead blog ! I'm now using tumblr though :) I have Twi, one with password and the other without. Anyways I was reading the posts and on January 14 isaid I'm missing lessons and O's are next year OMG . HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA , was I THAT hardworking ?? Actually I think j was cause I did very well for term 1 progress report. Oh well, I'm sorta drowning now. See the vast change ? And end year examination is in like a week ?! And I'm still like sitting here blogging instead of studying etcetc. Sigh, I'm very worried but the more I think of studying that subject the more I worry, the more I don't wanna do it. HELP! There's chemistry test tomorrow, and Math on Tuesday. Then I think on Tuesday or Wednesday it's Accounts test. Sigh, feel like requesting for a study break where we just self-study and no tests can interrupt our revision. also, today wenhabe Cell Sunday at LYnC but I don't feel like going at all, I feel like stayinghime and do all my work. But I know I won't do them as seriously. Ugh, this always happens Thn I'll wish that we can go back in time so I can start earlier etcetc, why am I not like last year, I was so in about studying, I would like study everyday when I get home, I think it was the time table thing eh. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I NEED SOME DISCIPLINE. oh I took my grade 4 piano exam on august 4 and j got a distinction without practicing ! BUT I cannot be complacent at all. I must work hard for grade 5 cause my comments were so half past six ! Also I need to improve my English comprehension skills. I SUCK MAN. Keep failing lar. Then pull down my whole mark !! Sigh, I don't know what to do anymore. I shall just do my best. And ask the lord for strength. Actually I realized that when I was depending on had, things were much much much easier. Like no matter how busy I was somehow god will make time for me to study. It's time I go back to
Him man.

formspring.me

2011-05-02T11:19:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/TektonikStereos

I fell .

2011-01-14T13:50:00.002+08:00

yes I fell , I mean literally fell not in a way that I fell / dropped in reality but fell , fell . I fell down the stairs LOL , yes I know HAHAHA lol . anws , my ankle hurts like asflhhc l&^%^$#)*()*(_)& now and i'm not in school = IDK THE SYF NEW MOVEMENTS AND I'VE MISSED LESSONS . and O'd are NEXT YEAR OMG . hopefully I can catch up !!!! I MISS KRISTINA ELLE SEVILLANO LUCAS .

18 To Life .

2011-01-01T12:56:00.002+08:00

Okay , New Year ! , Should I be excited ? Cause I'm not . Lol , uhm , today , party again baby ! Cab't wait , but pfft , its the real world wad do you get , yes I think you know I know what we all get . Anyway , my brother's watching the countdown encore and its somehow pissing me off ? Omg , NO I can't go back to my old dark self ); , Anws I hope 2011 is different- wait it is different she's not here anymore .

xoxo

Where IS the love ?

2010-12-31T01:22:00.003+08:00

What have I turn into ? I think I'm a monster now . I'm so thick-skinned I can't feel for people . I mean what's this , one of my best friends is moving to Texas and I can't drop a tear ? In fact I feel as if life is boring , shouldn't I be mourning about it ? And when I had a party recently , I was so busy I just ignored my friends , I mean what the hell man , this is totally bitchy 101 . What has happened to the caring me ? The one where will worry over smaller things ? And bigger things ? She just freaks out . Now I don't really , care , its like i'm living for myself but I know there are people I love around me , truth is , I don't know if I really do love them cause , love makes you do drastic things , sometimes , unimaginable but if I really do love a person in a unromantically way , shouldn't I be sad that they are moving or show the slightest concern for them ? What has become of me ? Is it because of what had happened before , made me into this numb person all over again ? But now , I'm worse , I'm helpless . I feel like a failure . I can't open up to new friends but close ones , I feel that I care more about myself and when I try to show my concern it becomes so fake I'd dislike it , I think/know that I hurt people .

On the other hand

I feel so unwanted , so neglected , so used that I'm sick of it , I just wanna run away have some time alone , and I know god is there , you don't need to remind me - I just need answers to my questions . I'm so flustered at myself , I don't wanna be this kinda person . I want to feel loved , I wanna know the ecstasy of it . My mind is in a huge whirl , I don't even know what to think about , wad is going on with me ? I don't wish/want/hope to end my year this way , but I guess I have to , its not a choice ; sometimes being too determined can drain your perserverence . Am I running away from reality ? So that by not facing I'll not feel anything ? , Like when I was sending my friend to the airport it didn't feel like it actually happened , but when I read her status and our friends comments , its real I know it , but I can't feel it . I just CAN'T . Everything in my mind is just floating up in the "air" but when I jump and try to catch it , my results are consecutive failures .

So , are experiences making me this way , am I choosing to be this way ?

Where IS the love ?

xoxo,

hello there .

2010-12-25T04:08:00.002+08:00

Yes, its been a long time since I've been blogging , but they do you know blogging helps improve one's english ? Well so does reading , but it takes and effort for both although majority will find that blogging is much easier since its on the internet which highly demanding and demanded . Okay , that's not the point right now , I'm back to blog , I've got things to say , So much as happened in the past few months of my life , well lets see , I've been on a cruise for the first time in my life, had a work attachment for 2 weeks, made new friends in my youth camp , understood people more , I've realised how much certain people mean to me as well , I know it Christmas and this is how I'm feeling , well , not very good , yupp I don't feel the spirit at all ): I wish I could though , then I wouldn't worry about having an accomplished life , I don't even have one guy who likes me as in not like as a friends but more , that's pathetic , shows how ugly I am . Oh well , work attachment was well (;, I enjoyed it very very much :D , Basically , I'm waiting for 2011 to come my wayy , BRING IT ON 2011 I CAN HANDLE YOU AND YOU AS WELL 2012 , I WON'T DIE IN YOUR HANDS BUT IN GODS' . SCIENTIST DON'T PREDICT MY DEATH , BUT GOD KNOWS NOT PREDICT .:D FATHER ALMIGHTY , HAS THE HIGHEST HONOUR ! HE WILL TAKE ALL PRAISE ONLY AND ONLY HIM ! AMEN !

Alive , once again , then dead for real .

2010-08-14T10:53:00.002+08:00

Psh, you get everything you want , when yo ufucking don't deserve it I work so hard just do/get wad I want , but IT ALWAYS ENDS UP WITH YOU or if not , everybody and then me . I at least should have some respect , you all ,don't do as well as me , and this is the fucking shit I get , thanks . I dunno why we have parents anymore .

Sonatinas (:

2010-06-14T16:07:00.004+08:00

I'mma let the late pictures do the talking for this late post (;

Dear John,

2010-06-08T16:08:00.002+08:00

Quite a nice show , some parts a little boring ,not really worth your money , thankfully, I didn't watch it in the theaters , online , lol . But its sweet overall , next up , THE LAST SONG . LOL , then When In Rome , then Karate Kid , well some other time for the last two movies , but yeah these are the movies I would wanna watch. I've watched the back-up plan , it was awesome ! But typical love story , with a slight twist (:

Bewafa

2010-06-05T19:21:00.003+08:00

Life's getting boring , :S nothing much t do, faceboko is not hat enterntaining , bleahk , I WANT THE OLD TIMES BACK !

-

2010-06-03T17:46:00.001+08:00

Fuck uh , just get away from me !! Who has a shoulder I could borrow ? I'm socially and romantically challenged .

I'M DESPERATE FOR HAPPINESS . DESPERAT. HAPPINESS.

2010-06-03T16:58:00.001+08:00

Thanks , for the memories .

2010-06-03T16:46:00.000+08:00

You know wad , now I'm feeling like i DON'T EVEN BELONG TO 3/9 like seriously , as usual , ALWAYS THE FORGOTTEN ONE . Wadever , now when I see most of my ex-clasmates , I dun even wanna talk to them This is so not me , all I wanna say now , is FUCK MY LIFE , I WISH ALL OF YOU A FUCKING HELL OF A TIME , BYE FUCKERS .

The Coffe Bean & Tea Leaf .

2010-05-31T19:42:00.002+08:00

Had breakfast there with cuzzie (: She's suppose to come over in the evening , but mummy too tired ): Went "shopping" with her today (: I SWEAR HER BABY SISTER'S DAMN CUTE !

WOIII SARAH WE MUST HANG OUTT MORE HORS !

Define Life .

2010-05-30T21:08:00.002+08:00

I wouldn't dare say wads going to happen tomorrow , we all know , LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE . Pssshh , trip to malacca was 3/4 fun 1/4 disaster . Yupp church was awesome today , but I looked old )': , FINALYL got to so called go home with samuel today , tsk ,that boy uh ...... yupp , lazy uh to do into details ,but one question ....

Have You Ever Thought If You Will Be Remembered When You Die ??

Like You'll Care- .

2010-05-26T18:37:00.002+08:00

Got report book today , hahaha , teachers had good comments bout me ^^ , LOL , saw classmates they ignored , oh well . It makes no difference if I'm around or not , so why bother even showing sympathy for me . Its stupidity luh dun waste your time on me I bet deep down in all your hearts you're like , 'I could be doing something more productive than this " *smirks* , THANK GO DI'M CHANGING CLASS , I REALLY THANK GOD . but I dun wanna leave Jazlina , Shafiqa , Yana , Bella , Durga tyeah )': , But we still can hang out , but I STILL BET TEN MILLION I'LL BE FORGOTTEN , can't even remember ym birthday ,what's more ? if i'm dead they'll be like , who's that ?

Shitsxz l.

2010-05-25T21:04:00.000+08:00

Death after deaths , what is the world coming to ? Oh yeah , its ending I forgot , bye .

With All Good Things , There Are Bad Things .

2010-05-24T20:10:00.002+08:00

Today , after E-math checking of scripts , Mrs Marion Tan , came in to talk to us , about through train programme and all, to somewhat encourage us no matter where we belonged , I thought , it was really a very motivational talk , although MANY WOULD THINK ITS TALK COCK , I'm not being biased or anything , just because I entered through train , but I think it really made perfect sense , perfect sense , I'd say . So , no matter where we are , friends who made and friends who didn't this is the time where you can really score , lower competition for some , higher competition , for more , so FIGHT YOUR VERY BEST , IN EVERYTHING , and , you'll really really see a SPOTLIGHT at the end of the tunnel , its worth it , just work our damn ass off man but make sure you absorb and apply .

2010-05-23T21:30:00.000+08:00

The Best Thing Bout Tonight .

I don't get it ,
All these hard work , I put in life
What has it all come to ?
May it be friendships , studies ,
I don't care .
It all just doesn't pays off .

Why do we try ?
We try hoping we would get what we want at the end of the day .
But apparently life is not that fair .
Life throws things at you , and you fucking gotta accept it .

PS: This post is related to nothing in particular , I'M SERIOUS , and , yeah , just on the whole , you know ,general ?? I'm kinda sick of pulling through with life , I admire my parents for staying until such an old age . BUT GOD WILL HELP ME (:

2010-05-14T10:51:00.001+08:00

I’m Back !!

Hello , its been light years since I posted here , my tumblr's wayy dead too . Hahaha . Hmmm , umairah , rest In peace , your family will be fine , at least you’re not suffering with the pain anymore , go up there, and rest in peace , k. We’ll take care of your dear sister for you (: And you can protect her form up there (if this actually works for the muslim religion ? , sprry , no offense intended to be made here ) I was shocked , the shocking news , I kept huhing all the wayy , I dunno how Zanurah going to take it man , and their mum ………. Our school, first bavani ): , now Umairah ): , omg .

Back To Reality ,

EXAMS ARE OVER (: AND I FREAKING GAVE IT MY BEST , except for POA paper 2 ): I screwed it up like shit man , I never revise for it lar , I focused wayy too much on biology ): BUT FOR THE REST , IT WAS AWESOME (: I REVISED AND WAS ABLE TO DO THE QUESTIONS , ESPECIALLY FOR HISTORY !! I WAS SO PROUD OF MYSELF !! but I didn’t have time to conclude ): But , I think English , a lot of people will fail , damn hard , even I can’t do it , omg , all the other were like , wah English DIE LAR DIE . hahaha , FOR SS , was quite confident (: so I think humans can pass de , I NEED THE THROUGH TRAIN , I WANNA GET OUTTA 3N9 , OH COME ON ,I NEED IT I NEED IT !! , Math , paper 1 was okay ^^ I practiced (: Paper two , was manageable , a lot of mind tricks though , MDM KHAW LAR, TSK . But , really trigonometry , was really a heavy weight-age , but I’m good at Toa Cah Soh , and Pythagoras Theorem (: YAYY (: LOL , I just hope I do well , enough to get into through train ( well see the whole NA is getting re-streamed again so yeah , we can fight for through train again. but actually NOW we’re all in through train , but they wanna see who can really cope with it ) I PRAY LORD , AMEN .

Umairah , god bless you .

2010-05-09T22:00:00.005+08:00

Is There Really A Meaning To It ??

Today , Mother's Day , heh , doesn't really mean anything , wad the shi t, lar but things all still don't appreciate , wad the fuck , buy ready , then just shut up and eat lar , wah lao eh . KNS .

DAMNIT FORGET BOUT THAT SHIT SCENE , SO DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME SIAA , IT JUST SHOWS HOW UNAPPRECIATIVE YOU ARE MOTHER .

K , today , Lync , a bit weird , uhm , awkward things happened , though , SAMUEL CHEN DIDN'T COME TSK . WAH LAO EH , he stayed home and revised , HAHAHAHAHA , so much for being guaii . LOL , HAHAHAHAHA .

MIXED EMOTIONS TODAY . OUTBURST AT SAMUEL , HE WAS SPEECHLESS , HAHAHAHA , but is replies we re quite curt , then I never reply him back , then he say , sorry for my curt replies , I'm trying to study and all, HAHAH , who doesn't know you're studying ?? LOL , wad are friends for ?? (^^)

2010-05-07T22:58:00.001+08:00

Why ?? Think Again ,

AHH , TOO MANY THINGS ON HAND . PROBLEMS LAR , THINGS TO STUDY , COMPLETE , WORRY BOUT WAD THE EFF /?? I THANK GOD , FOR ALLOWING ME TO BE BORN TO KNOW HIM ^^ I THANK HIM FOR GIVING ME CHRISTIAN PARENTS SO I WOU;DN'T NEED TO FIND AND GO THROUGH TROUBLES ALL ALONE BUT WITH HIM BESIDE EVER SINCE MY FIRST BEAT OF MY HEART AMEN (:

ALL FRIENDS COME AND GO , MARK THAT ALL , ALL ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL !!!!!

2010-05-03T20:59:00.003+08:00

When You Don't Want It , Its Right In Your Face , When You NEED It It's NEVER There .

Went study with gang today (: Was , quite okay , bus ride home with meera was noisy , we chatted all the way LOL , met Up with Az and jaz in the trian ,lol , with their mummies (: ONly my mummy never go out with their mummy ): LOL , Then dhia , at the library (: DHIA ,WAS THE BOOMSXZ MAN(: Aini couldn't join us ): Ainur , dia tingal kat malaysia , mesti tak leh uh .... She was studying at sharminii's house (: At elast she's got a partner (" Youth was awesome on sunday , conneted with god (: I felt his touch . I LOVE MY AWESOME GOD (: Then , yeah ,hung out with samuel , joshua , mark lim , anne and grace , anne left early to chop off her hair , grace went back to church to meet her momma , then left the guys and I , mark left after helping Samuel with his "ADVANCED MATH YEAH " then left the two uys and I , we laughed like mad , I CONFIRM YOU , DAMN FUNNY , went home with Samuel . AISH SAM , LEAVE YOUR MIND AT EASE MAN , IT NEEDS A BREAK YO .

FRIED BRAIN CELLS .

2010-04-26T16:18:00.003+08:00

Nothing , Really .

Life's pretty boring these days , am recovering from flu virus , damn that bug . Absence from school on Friday and today , tons of catching up to do . Had Chinese oral today , thank god math test was canceled . Yeah , I didn't go for youth yesterday ): Wasn't well enough . Was suppose to get back to school today but fever came back yesterday night and daddy said don't take the risk and then later spread to the people in your class . And he said he'll bring me to doc's today , but didn't tsk , how to take chinese oral like that ?? Well , must start revising for GCSEs (MYE) LOL , that's american term for mid-ear examination . Well , read one book within five days , that's quite long but counting , my sickness and all those interruptions its quite fast already (: LOL . Tomorrow , I hope I can get back to school ma , kinda boring at home though . On second book borrowed from national library .

I'm thinking of planning a study date with besties again . I missed the one on Friday ): ALL THANKS TO THAT MEAN MEAN BUG ): Will , use e-learning for bio revision I guess , so going to check if it helps (: And ,you can take their summary , not like the text book , so ultra longg , but reading the textbook is a must .

I MUST IMPROVE MY ENGLISH . NO MORE INFORMAL COMPOSITION WRITING AND MUST BE CALM WHILE DOING ENGLISH PAPER 2 .

2010-04-21T21:47:00.002+08:00

I hope things go fine , Dear Lord ,Help us All , we sinners need your guidance , in things we commit , may i tbe sins o r not sins , help my friends whom have problems they need to go throught or over come , give them the will power to get over the past and move on with life , and hopefully find you one day . In Jesus name I pray Amen .

2010-04-19T18:27:00.002+08:00

Long Gone Sweet Times .

Well m sorry for neglecting my posts updates . Been really busy lately , with The Grace concert that just ended , on Saturday . Well training was hectic , and I'm sure surprised how I could balance , piano , tests , school, training and everything , I really have to give glory to God , for helping me pull through . Grace concert , was a blast , everyone said , that Indian Dance was the best (: Why do we never fail to please the crowd ?? My biggest question , but I know that God did answered my prayer right before the performance . I was praying that he'll give me the energy and wadever I need to keep me through the long dance item , and really , I was doing good , I could feel that I did give my best and I gave my best during the last show ! With a huge crowd !! YEAH :D WE DID BLEW THE ROOF OFF (: that's good . One disappointing point , our seniors are leaving us ): THEY CRIED LIKE MAD , but I was so happy for them , that we all gave our all for the last performance , that I didn't wanna cry , well I think I'll break down sooner or later , it'll happen eventually , I know it . I'll post pictures obviously , when everything's up on Facebook , in the mean time , I'm tied down with Mid-years , Oh , how I love my packed-up schedules . LOL . I'M SURE GONNA MISS YOU GUYS MAN !! I LOVE YA'LL !!

2010-04-09T22:00:00.000+08:00

Time , it ends all things .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAFIQA !!!!!!!! HAVE A FANTABULOUS FIFTEEN !!!!!!!!

REHEARSALS REHEARSALS REHEARSALS , IS ALL I'VE GOT TO ATTEND . LIFE'S DAMN BUSY NOW ):

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VANS LEE !!!!!! HAVE A AWESOME CHALET !! I WISHED I WAS THERE !! )':

2010-04-03T16:11:00.004+08:00

Was looking back at the fun times we had drugin dhia's birthday party , just ofr us , the closest friend s, friends , who will and are always there , for us (: no matter wad (:

2010-04-03T15:41:00.001+08:00

Milk The Cow .

I've been drinking ltos of milk lately , my uncle rewarded my family with a whole BOX of milk , lol . so yeah , lately I've been drinking milk as if I'm a baby . HAHA , can't wait fro Flea tomorrow !! AND i think Valeire is an awesome cell leader , I mean she's not those studios type , the super holy one , or you know who really really go by the book , she's just like us , and she faces all the same problems as us , she may be screwed ( not that screwed ) BUT SHE'S STILL AWESOME casue she does stuff with limits and only when she's legal . And she so knows how to take care of us . (: That , is awesome cell leader (: HAHAHA .

TOMORROW . FLEA . WITH . DAWN , KRISTINA , CHRISTINA (maybe ) , ANNE (: I SO CAN'T WAIT , I JUST NEED DADDY TO GIVE ME THE MONEY ! AND I HOPE I BUMP INTO DEAR SARAH COUSIN OVER THERE !!

2010-03-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

HECTIC .

Schedule's down right packed don't wanna talk bout it , it justs pisses me off , on ho wmuch things I've gotta do , EXCLUDING HOUSE STUFF . ONLY SCHOOL WORK , AND ITS NOT ACADEMICS sigh , I need the strength to cope with it , and especially with all those girls chasing me , I;M SICK OF IT . KAVIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~ YOU GET WELL SOON AND DO WELL YEAH !!! KAI WEI !!!!!!!!!!! ~ WE NEED YOU BACK LAO SHI ZAI MA WO MEN , SHOU WWO MEN TIAO BU PIANO LIANG , MEI YOU POWER ): don't dwell to much on it too . NAVEENA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~ WHERE WERE YOU TODAY ? O.0

I don't think life's that great anymore .

2010-03-27T11:19:00.002+08:00

commnts , give me comments .

2010-03-26T17:22:00.002+08:00

DAMN YOU .

First you said , :That guy woul dbe lucky to have you in his life " NOW i bet you'll be like , "Wahh , that guy sue die sia , date her , shes such a player ! "

WELL , THINK WADEVER YOU WANNA THINK . BYE BITCH , LETS END THIS DAMN FRIENDSHIP . NO POINT KEEPING IT GOING WHEN THERE ISN'T ANY MUTUAL TRUST BETWEEN EACH OTHER . BYE-BYE . YOU ARE SO GOING TO BE HISTORY . YOU BROUGHT THE BITCH OUTTA ME TOWARDS YOU .

2010-03-25T19:33:00.000+08:00

DAMN YOU .

YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE FAITH IN YOUR DAUGHTER , DO YOU THINK SHE'LL HAVE TH COURAGE TO FIGHT COMPETITIONS OUT THERE , LET ALONE HER OWN FEARS . FUCK YOU .

2010-03-24T18:56:00.002+08:00

I Really Want It .

I've been thinking a lot lately . With my future , I noe , I don't want my future ambition anything to do with academics , I want talent . Well , I wanna bef amous , a celebrity . Like Justin Bieber ? He's so young , yet so famous and talented . Well its not necessary to be famous for singing , there are many other things . Well , I wanna be a famous pianist . And sometime , if I get to cut my own album , I plan to form a band ?? And do music videos , and be international . That'll take a long time, and it may sound quite impossible , but I really want it ITS MY DREAM AMBITION . REALLY . Right now , I'm looking for studios to do professional voice recording, and put it up on facebook or youtube , and I wanna see what people say bout my vocals , the piano . I wanna get discovered , you noe , that thing its really encouraging , that passion in me to be famous . I NOE I CAN DO I T WITH GOD'S STRENGTH .

I WILL BE FAMOUS .

2010-03-23T22:37:00.005+08:00

Let Em' Do The Talking (:

2010-03-22T22:18:00.004+08:00

Why let me fall when you're not there to catch me ?

I'M CRAZY OVER JUSTIN BIEBER , I prayed that I'll get to know him I really I hope I will . Miranda's having a performance foe Singapore Street Festival she's singing 9 solos and hr show's 30 mins , heh , I wanna do too ! But don't think she'll let , I bet she wants all the fame , I suppose .... seeing her like that . I mean its a great opportunity for record dealers to spot you , but I dunno should I give it a go ?? I'll ask if she has any spare place , well , I hope she does , and its not back-up singing , but featuring , lol . Okay , I shall pray bout it (: I SO WANNA NOE JUSTIN BIEBER .

HAD AWESOME QUALITY TIME WITH KRIS YESTERDAY , AND DR ENOCH'S PIANO EVANGELISM (:

2010-03-21T09:38:00.003+08:00

2010-03-20T17:43:00.006+08:00

ris came over (: LOL , took refuge at my place , haha , watched movie , then compter-ed lol . she ate my place too , she left like a few minutes ago .HAH , HEY KRIS HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL (: JUST SO YOU KNO W, I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU K ! dun ever do wad you've done again _|_ JUSTIN BIEBER IS SO CUTE (:

hot or wad ?!

2010-03-18T19:30:00.002+08:00

Eye Of The Tiger (:

Currently at Jazlina's House (: We were suppose to go to East Coast Park for swimming and I had two outing invitations , one go east coast the other go swimming at jurong . So I decided to go East Coast with Dhia , Aini , Jazlina and Azmeera since they booked the day like two weeks before holidays . So we net at Bedok interchange , and I was the first one to reach as usual , lol , after everyone was there , we headed to East Coast then it started raining -.- so we used Jazlina's umbrella like a taxi , lol . We went to macs to wait for Dhia to arrive , then she came , we finished our food by then the rain stopped and Dhia came , so we decided to play bowling but the game was too expensive so then we decided to go rent bike since that's wad we went there for , then even before we reached the bike rental it started pouring so we played the arcade game , there then we headed to Jazlina's house ! DAMN FUN , WE RAN HERE AND THERE , LOL when it was raining ! Then when ew reached Jazlina's house we karaoke-ed then we're currently guitar hero-ing !! LOL , BEAT IT BY MICHAEL JACKSON AND I'M THE SINGER , AZMEERA AND JAZLINA THE GUITARIST !!

2010-03-17T20:10:00.002+08:00

I Feel Good Enough .

Had , dance ,f or the past three days , I know I've not been updating lately , heh . For three straight days , dance for 7 hours ! from 9 am - 4 pm ! WOULDN'T YOU DIE ?! YES , but I didn't actually , today's practice was quite worth while, I didn't have to teach the juniors that much , and get all annoyed by them LOL , I'm so mean . But today , for one quarter of the day , I took all the sec ones not performing , and I nearly died ! SIGH , damn a lot of work , man oh man . Holiday homework check , I'm left with Biology , POA , History Chemistry and Newspaper reviews . EEYYER REVIEWS . I CAN'T WAIT FRO FRIDAY ! (: :D ITS THE CHARITY SHOW REHEARSAL (: EPIC OR WAD ?? OH , and now , I'm promoted ( I guess ? ) Kadhija and Dhurggah too ! We're all promoted ! I was group 2 , dropped to 3 then now 1 ! WOOTS ! KADHIJA AND DHURGAH ARE GROUP ONE TOO ! YEAH BABY COOL OR WAD HUH ?!

HOTTIE (:

Check out the stuff burning , damn cool !

2010-03-14T20:37:00.004+08:00

SHE SAVED ME (:

Today , church was awesome , first time , this month , sia , had proper lync service (: Really missed it man ! AND WE HAD CELL OUTING , more of all the girls lar , AND VALERIE HELPED ME OUT , SUCH A WONDERFUL CELL LEADER EH ?? JEALOUS JEALOUS ?? :P TO BAD , I'M JUST GOING TO LISTEN TO WAD SHE SAYS , AND YEAH , SHE HAS MORE EXPERIENCES , SO YEAH , AND I'LL KEEP PRAYING (:

2010-03-13T12:23:00.002+08:00

2010-03-13T11:22:00.001+08:00

Cheesy Stick .

Well , so now , after everything you can’t get over m e. Well, I’d admit I still have a bit of feelings for you , well , I’m still confused , but I noe I’ll get over you . You ruin your friendship with one of your soccer mate because of me , that’s damn bad . You guys shouldn’t fight because of me . I’m only human , I’m not a goddess , I’m not someone , who can control things either . I noe , you will get over me too . Just keep working hard on it . I don’t want this to happen again . I’m straight from now on , and if I ever fall again , I’ll try to pull myself up back on my two on feet . You two , should just really make up , and be friends like you both used to be . Don’t make me fell bad , I’m a bitch and I noe that already , so stop rubbing it in . This is all I have to say , get over me , if you want , if not , just like me with no hope that I’m ever accepting either of you .

2010-03-09T23:43:00.002+08:00

I Found Myself In Wonderland .

Today = awesome . PURE AWESOME , I SWEARING AT THAT . Tomorrow , Chrysan , we're coming to your rescue !!!! LOL , you'll feel better (:

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-03-08T22:25:00.002+08:00

Wardrobe Is A Killer .

Today , is awesome , will never ever forget this day , obviously , I won't say it here , its kinda personal ,so yeah (: BUT I'LL KEEP SMILING . Well , I saw Tasya's blog , omg , damn scary lar , I got damn freaked . Seriously , but wadever I did to you Tasya , was for both our own good , so yeah . Have a Happy Life (: (: (: (:

I LOVE YOU (:

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-03-06T19:54:00.002+08:00

Do wadever you feel like doing .

After reading , blogs , I realised , i'm not being loved by epople around me, well , I can see it actually , I used tot ell myself , I keep school friends and church friends like two separate people , and church friends are more reliable , so is it because of this theory , I can't really learn to accept my school people ?? Idk , well I noe , I've Jazlina ,Azmeera , Dhia , and all , but it seems like we're drifting , I miss those days where we hang out , like really really hang out , ever since last year , late last year and sec 3 life , we all split like siao , and then some of us have new friends in our life , and yeah then everything becomes complicated , well new friends from last year = old friends , then you realise you don't really like them anymore , but you're force to hang around them and you can't hang out with your buddies , and yeah , and those pillars of love I have from those small handful of friends is not enough to keep me going , I need something more significant , more encouraging , more like you noe , always here for you kinda thing , well yeah , I dunno wad to say anymore , I sound confused do I ?? Yes I know , its cause I AM CONFUSED . I just need a shoulder to cry on , mainly cause crying is addictive , its like a drug , the more you cry the more addicted you are to it , cause one tear drop means a million things .

I WISH I WAS IN THE BOOK CALLED CRANK OR GLASS , WHERE THE GIRL TAKES DRUGS TO GET AWAY FROM REALITY .

2010-03-06T19:27:00.003+08:00

Have you ever wished and hoped GOD wouldn't know wad you're wishing for ??

Hmmmm . life's hasn't really been that bright , my realationship with GOD is not improving , well , I missed youth for two weeks , and this sunday , tomorrow , we have an outing . Well , and Ia Car Wash . LOL , You know, people have girlfriends and boyfriends , well for me , Grils aer like chasing after me , actually two only lar , one I told her to go for the other girl she likes , and , that happens and the other one, is Tasya , omg, I tell you I rejected her today , I MEAN EW , and on her blog she's giving the impressions that we're together ?? WTF ?! Okay , she's so not my standard , and went she knew , me I found out , that she still had other people in her mind , so no point sia , and I wouldn't even wanna a girl-girl relationship . Well , can't be bothered bout her , well the wekks have been the same , like everyday , like you noe , all the lovey dovey stuff , and scolding her to go for the other girl she likes , text text macs with friends , dance , tests , and yeah , went to Parliament on Thursday , well photography isn't allowed , so no photos at all . Yupp had performance at Causeway Point on Saturday , so yeah damn tired , will post pictures up here soon (:

RAPE , A LOVE STORY .

FUCK YOU BTICH , CANNOT MAKE IT FOR GUYS .

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-25T21:44:00.005+08:00

I MISS ALL OF THEM , I'M TIED DOWN WITH DANCE PRACTICE THIS WHOLE WEEK , today , 4 HOURS WITH NO WATER FOR HYDRATION SIGH , GOD HAS DONE AND ANSWERED MY PRAYERS (: GOD , PLEASE CONTINUE TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY BODY , WHEN I'M DANCING LORD , ESPECIALLY TOMOROW AS THE ORGANISERS WILL BE COMING TO VIEW THE DANCE LORDS GIVE THE WHOLE DANCE GROUP THE STRENGTH AND ABILITY TO DO IT PROPERLY LORD FOR TOMORROW'S SHOWCASE AND THE PERFORMANCE THIS SATURDAY LORD , AMEN .

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-22T11:05:00.006+08:00

YOG Countdown song , bleh , damn fast , god , help me with the steps , I want you to help me memorize them and everytime during the rehearsals or during the performance Lord , take control of me and it'll be you dancing and not me , Amen ,

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-20T11:59:00.001+08:00

Got his from doing a Facebook quiz , and its so totally true ! THIS . IS. ME .

Dear Angelina Julia Joseph, below are your Personality Tests result:
Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Your view on yourself:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are down-to-earth
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : People like you because you are so straightforward
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are a true romantic
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : When you are in love
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You will do anything
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Everything to keep your love true
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person
The seriousness of your love:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like to flirt
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Behave seductively
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : The opposite sex finds this very attractive
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : That's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Education is very important in life
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You want to study hard
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Learn as much as you can
The right job for you:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You have many goals
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Want to achieve as much as you can
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy
How do you view success:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Nothing will stop you from trying
What are you most afraid of:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are concerned about your image
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : The way others see you
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : It's time for you to believe in who you are
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Not what you wear

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

Brothers bugging me for comp , bye , NEXT WEEK, DANCE IS EVERYDAY , GOD GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO COPE AND DANCE , AMEN .

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-18T23:16:00.002+08:00

Zerone !

Today , was fun , slacked with Bella, Gloria , Kalishna , Rachel Oun , and later for a ashort while Kimberley and Gracious came , well , the first five of us , had lotsa , fun , but I'm too lazy to describe them in words , well but I'll say it briefly ,w ell it was fun for me cause ithas been a while since I last hung out with them , and like , we bonded (: Yay (: And I went home with Azmeera and Dhia today ! YES FINALLY , but Jazlina's mother came to fecth her ): Tsk , if not the whole gang can take the bus ! Had , a raelly really fun time , with friends , today (: Can't wait for Yana , to come back to school ! And my CRANK book back ! LOL , ciao , adios !

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-17T19:25:00.002+08:00

FUCKING HELL , WE HAVE A LIFE , WE'RE NOT HERE TO STAY IN SCHOOL CRAMP A DACE THAT NEEDS LOTS OF TECHNIQUES AND BE YOUR DOGS , BLOODY DOG , WE ALL HAVE A LIFE !

School, was all turning all right , and everything until after school, where I really lost it . During dance , my fellow 4 other friends and I were learning it , well , more of teaching it us in more details then like coach wanted to se , so she saw , well , we just learnt it , then when we did it , she say , all of you are not ready yet , how am I suppose to use you for this dance ?? I'm like wad the fuck if you noe we're not ready just take us out , why care bout wad we think , and in the first place must we really have a name in the school? WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING PROUD , it won't kill , you to get your pride away would it ?? I mean even I have pride but I don't make so important in my life , like you do , you have students as your pets you treat them differently , no matter how the others try to enter group 1 you just one or two of your non-pets and the rest are your beloved ones that you only really care about , oh come on , don't you know , most of us cannot really tolerate you , for who you are ?? I'm typing this on behalf of the whole INDIAN DANCE GROUP OF ST MARGARET'S SECONDARY SCHOOL, IN SINGAPORE , AT 111 FARRER ROAD . Don't get me worng , I've specified the school's address there , so yeah . I am particularly pissed off , you think youj're the only one >> Oh come on , we have a life , we don't just sit in school , study , then come happily for your dance practice , LIFE'S NOT THIS WAYY ANYMORE , THE SENIORS MAY HAVE BEEN A MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN US , BUT DID YOU EVER THINK THAT LAST TIME, OUR SCHOOL'S DANCE WAS NOTHING ?? IT WAS EASY FOR THEM TO COPE WITH EVERYTHING , EDUCATION WAS NOT SO DIFFICULT LIKE NOW , AND NOW WE EVEN HAVE TO COPE THE FUCKING STANDARD THAT YOU'VE SET FOR US THAT WE DON'T EVEN LIKE . Why can't we just be like the other normal CCAs why so outstanding ?? Have you ever thought of the girls who stay do far , and their schedules packed for the whole week ?? OH COME ON , YOU'RE EDUCATED THINK FOR YOUSRSELF , THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY , THANKS FOR RUINING MY DAY YOU BLOODY BLACK BULL DOG .

HADI , is my official , throw-everything-out-get-back-advice-in-return person (:

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-16T23:53:00.000+08:00

I'M SELLING THINGS , MOSTLY BOOKS , BUT THOSE WHO NEEDS CLOTHES , TRADITIONAL OUTFITS (?) GIFT TOYS / BAGS TO KIDDOS , I'VE GOT THEM , EVEN FOR TODDLERS , AND THEY'RE GOING FOR A REAL CHEAP PRICE THE MAXIMUM , IS $15 AND THAT'S FOR A DICTIONARY COSTING $20 ++ , SO I HAVE THINGS FOR A DOLLAR (the toddler gift stuff ) I'M CLEARING STOCKS , TO BE HONEST , SO YEAH , COME COME , BUY FROM ME , WILL UPLOAD EVERYTHING , SOON ! THANKS (:

xoxo, (:

2010-02-16T22:59:00.004+08:00

BLEAH , GLEE , BLEAH , IDK WAD TO DO .

I'm excited for dance tomorrow ! And , I haven't re-done my math simultaneous equations , wadever , I'll do it during mother tongue ! EPIC , first period , MOTHER TONGUE = SLACK TIME (: I think ?? cause maybe The Chinese Syllabus B results come out le , so yeah , Idk , scramble everything tomorrow morning ? OH AND DAWN'S AND DHANAN'S BIRTHDAY'S TOMORROW , shall wish them (:

Family life , not really so great , the whole family sort of argued today , bleak , bleah , yeah dun wanna talk bout it la .

Sometimes , I just feel , I want to have that special someone , where I can really talk everything to , be there for me , let me cry on their shoulders without me feeling embarrassed or stupid , have you ever felt that way ?? SIGH , I wish , I wish .

* I gotta quit spending money , I need to save , I want either a iPod or iTouch , but I have to get the bloody money first >:|

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-15T16:57:00.001+08:00

FLEA-SHOPPING .

CIK AZIAN , SHE ASK ME GO FLEA MARKET WITH HER , AHH ! NOW I FEEL LIKE SHOPPING , OM G, CAN'T THIS SATURDAY , 3-11 ! I'LL RUSH BACK TO ORCHARD TO BUY MORE THINS AFTER MY PINO ! HUMMPPH ! Piano seems to be getting into everything ! ANNOYING LUH ! God is testing my self-disciplinary actions , sigh , I'LL DO BOTH AND I DON'T CARE !

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-14T22:29:00.000+08:00

EEYER ,

today , just came online , and this guy , om gm,shall not say it here , but HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL , talking to dear friend Dhanan , and RockWall Shaqhil , Shaqhil'sd amn nice , he's helping me out (: CINA NEW YEAR SUCKS , ALL SHOPS ARE CLOSED WTF SIAL ??!!!

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-13T22:30:00.001+08:00

2010-02-13T13:59:00.001+08:00

Just A Little Bit More .

I'm worried , dear lord , plese help me with the Youth Olympic Countdown dance steps , it is the same dance that we did yesterday for the Chinese New Yewar performance , please help me cope with the steps and the speed of the music , ad give me the sternght to express everything , from faceial expression like smiles to expressive movemetns , in this case , robotic and everything else , my eyes , and dear lord , when I;m learning the movements or daneg , take over my body , yake over my body , and control them so that it is you who will be helping to dance , lord , in Jesus name I pray , amen (:

2010-02-12T21:48:00.004+08:00

Awesomest (:

Today ,w as highly fun (: Well, towards the end actually , so , in the morning , got pissed by ACT COOL GRACIOUS , SHE'S THE BLOODY CHEE BAI GO FUCK YOURSELF LAR . Then indian dance, but I was fine after a while , EXCEPT FOR THE GRACIOUS ACT COOL . So then helped out with the Indian Dance preparations for the CNY concert , and yeah , sat at the back kept cheering blah blah then was dance practice coach was wayy disappointed with our behavior cause we all took a long time to clear everything , I UNDERSTAND , EVEN I WAS GETTING PISSED COLLECTING ALL THE DAMN ORNAMENTS .yeah , then Deva came , Alumni , so I thought , it'll just be like , oh hi , hey , then dance dance ,then go home, that sort of relationship with her , who'd knew , we talked A LOT , WE WENT TO MACS AND HAD DINNER :D SHE'S SO NICE , KAYS . AT LEAST SHE'S PERFORMING WITH US (: (: (: (:

AND I'M CHANGING MY LINK , THAT'S IT ITS MY ALST STRAW , THOSE GLORIA , OM G, YOU WANT READ PEOPLE'S BLOG TELL YOUR DEAR SISTER GRACIOUS DUN COMMENT , LAR NOT HAPPY DUN READ GET THAT FUCK OFF SIA

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-10T17:01:00.002+08:00

Deep Down , really its there , inside of me

Back, from not blogging for the past two days, school was boring usual, same ald thing, and yeah , I'm the wardrobe manager for Indian Dance ! lol , cathcing up with Revathi now , omg , like I never talk to her for 10 years like that lar ! She poor thing , do course work while talking , lol , but anyways ,today , damn sian lar , AND I JUST REALISED YESTERDAY THAT MY YOG COUNTDOWN PERFORMANCE CLASHES WITH MY PIANO CLASS , WAH LAO EHS , sighsss , so I have to postpone my piano class , and Janelle's birthday party is coming , I dunno if I should go or not siak . I MISS SAMUEL , I MISS TALKING TO HIM M HE'S SO BUSY LAR , anyways , chatted with him yesterday , but I was tired , and he was so he slept first , then on MOnday , I slept first , TSK , but next next sunday , I'll go home with him , then we can catch up on things , and yeah !! Miss those times when we dine together with the rest and we all would go crazy uh ! SO DAMN FUN . WAH , I WANNA REWIND TIM E, church friends have become an important part of my life now (: AND I LIKE THE WAYY IT'S FUNCTIONING (:

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-07T19:31:00.002+08:00

So Close

AWESOME , CAN'T STOP THINKING OF CAMP GATHERING YESTERDAY , although I left my phone in Jazlina's house , BUT IS WAS AWESOME SHIT (l CHURCH WAS AWESOME TODAY (:

SAMUEL , DEAR FRIEND , MARK MY WORDS K , I WILL GO HOME WITH YOU AFTER THE NEXT YOUTH MINISTRY , K ? I WILL , I PROMISE (: YOU CAN TALK TO ME ALL YOU WAN T, HAVE ME TO ALL YOURSELF I LOVE YOU!

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-06T10:32:00.002+08:00

I Look To You (:

Heh, curently at Jazlina's nice ncie house (: I LOVE HER ROOM , after change , boil saussage, head to Eunos , buy chips and we're going to cab to bishan , well , I hope the amount of money we have with us is enough ! AHH , I only have $17 and she only has $I dunno , yeah , okay . HAHAH, she dun wan tell me ! LOL , just hope
everything will be alright , I had a nightmare you know , omnte trainer's gathering , last night . I dreamt that mu whole family were there , and the plcae looked like my music school , so then , my mum and da were hosting everything , and Jazlina , Kimbreley adn Amber and I we were all there, the place has all ben set up and The trainers had already arrived , and FARHAN was the first one I saw . Yeah , and I remember Hadi telling me that Farhan cannot come as he's sick , LOL , and he wished me happy birthday and we hugged, I hugged Olivia , Hadi and Farhan , then we went to change to our camp tee and we deciede to go get lunch and we headed to Changi Airport ? and we cam-whored a lot , and we totally forgot that thetrainer's were at the place , hen we all left for home , and when I ot home , My dad was saying That trainer Marcus uh , he talk dunnow ad to me , he's so stupid , and then mu mum sway hais , and then I woke ,up , realising that today's the camp gathering , and the trainers are coming and Farhan's not ): SIGH , haha , but at least I got back to reality .

Kalishna . she's trying to make me happy and get my old self back in school , but I can't be myself , unles I;m around my closest of the closest friends . LOL , she said she wanna talk to me , lol, who knows wad she's going to do , she say she'll be my entertainer ?? WTF ?!

xoxo,
Porcelain Doll

2010-02-04T22:07:00.002+08:00

Not Shingz , not cool .

School , was kinda okay-ish today , after school , we had Social Studies remedial and epic , only 11 of us out of 41 people came and Mrs Shum let us eat in class , we were all starving , cause we all sat in class and chatted non-stop , and that was the first time the other 8 of them heard Kadhijah talk so much , lol , I've seen her talking a lot , haha , lol . yeah , in class she's apparently FUNCTION like that, damn quiet , and after class , she FUNCTIONS as SUPER UBER NOISY ! haha , kadhija kadhija . Well , Social Studies remedial was kinda fast , I actually realised I KNOW HOW TO SET UP THE PROJECTOR ! (: YOU NOE POWER POINT ?? YEAH , (: WOOTS (: lol ,

Family life , I think will suck for a few days , Daddy found out that korkor was smoking , sigh , you noe , daddy can be damn emo at times . SIGH , and he'll just vent he's anger on anything he can get at . sigh .

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-03T22:33:00.003+08:00

Shine ?

Life's starting to shine ? But I miss talking to Hadi , wah , he's like my brother HAH , he advices A LOT , so much fro being a TRAINER , lol .

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-02T21:56:00.004+08:00

Consuming Fire (:

I don't think I'm enjoying school like I did last year , SO MANY DUDETTES CHANGE JUST TO FIT IN OR ACT COOL , so not shingz and so not cool .

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-02-01T22:00:00.001+08:00

"lollipops turn into cigarettes. the innocent ones turn into sluts. HOMEWORK GOES IN THE TRASH. mobile phones are being used in class. detention becomes suspension. soda becomes vodka. undies turn into g-strings. remember when high meant swinging on the playground? when protection meant wearing a helmet? when the worst thing you could get from boys were cooties? dads shoulders were the highest place on earth and mom was your hero? your worst enemies were your siblings. race issues were about who ran the fastest. war was only a card game. the only drug you knew was cough medicine. wearing a skirt didn't make you a slut. the only things that hurt you were skinned knees. and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? and we couldn't wait to grow up."

Found this on Iqa's blog and thought it was really meaningful ! I LOVE IT .

2010-02-01T21:51:00.002+08:00

I had this much of fun had Dhia's Slumber Party , too bad I couldn't stay over )':

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-31T20:06:00.002+08:00

I Wanna Spend Eternity With you (:

Saturday : HAD AN AWESOME TIME AT DHIA'S SLUMBER PARTY (: but sad par t, I didn't get to stay over so here's my schedule for yesterday / Saturday . Morning went for piano auditions and came back home around three , bathed then grabbed everything rushed for piano , piano ended at 1745 , faster ran to the MRT , to head to Changi Airport to get to the hotel , reached there , party like siao , smashed cake on Dhia , then left at 9 plus , then reached home exactly at 10 (:

Sunday : Woke up at 0615 bathed when back to sleep woke up at 0700 changed and headed to church m came back home at 1030 finished up my piano piece left house at 1230 headed for youth , so back to church I went , finished at round 1530 , had Worship team briefing , then went Raffles , bout CHOCOLATE E'CLAIR PRETZEL (it was awesome (: ) then headed home (: I HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED MY HOMEWORK .

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-29T20:46:00.002+08:00

This , is how I really feel .

Me- I Only Have Fangs For You
Ka- The other one, the capricon person .

I only have Fangs For You says:
OHMY GOSH
gotta tell you smth
I DUN TRUST ANYONE in school
like seriously , I mean even though they are Christians , they dun behave like one

CaPrIcOrN - the passionate LoVeR(: AnNaNdO says:
uh-huh

I only have Fangs For You says:
its so funny, the christians in your school , its like they hardly ever care about you
Al they care is weather thay have a friend to be with , or if they're cool enough to fit in

CaPrIcOrN - the passionate LoVeR(: AnNaNdO says:
CHILL LAH

I only have Fangs For You says:
seriously , I miss my closest friends of all ,

CaPrIcOrN - the passionate LoVeR(: AnNaNdO says:
n hu is tht?

I only have Fangs For You says:
i'm very pissed already , now
going to school for me is a REAL DRAG
they're guys
lah
and like , I mean the people that I can trust the most are like malay , muslim people
which is very insulting to the other Christians

CaPrIcOrN - the passionate LoVeR(: AnNaNdO says:
haha..agreed
lol

I only have Fangs For You says:
IDK , I just , cannot accept our school friends
they're more of mere friends then like friends to die for
idk , why they say friends in sec school , will die die be there for you
or maybe I haven't founf the right one yet ??
but seriously look at our class , who is there to trust and really deppend on whenever you're in need ??

CaPrIcOrN - the passionate LoVeR(: AnNaNdO says:
okay..
i seriously guess u haven't found 1 yet man
like..come on..
u'll fine someone hu will always be there for u
jus be patient

I only have Fangs For You says:
I dun have any hope in it

CaPrIcOrN - the passionate LoVeR(: AnNaNdO says:
hey..there's still a long long long way in lfe to go man
life*
itz not as if onli ur school frewns will be ur gd frewnds
there's no such rule either
so all u got to do is just wait..

I only have Fangs For You says:
sigh , but schol is like a everyday thing
its like a day camp

CaPrIcOrN - the passionate LoVeR(: AnNaNdO says:
n if u really want someone to join u for recess or smth...u kan kol mie ..i will be more thn happy to leave them n join u
i m serious

I only have Fangs For You says:
and if your go to school with no friends to help you get through them its worst than shit

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-28T14:28:00.005+08:00

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away

Didn't got o school today ,too lazy , and I needed rest if not I would have fallen sick and miss more lessons , that will be foolish , pure foolish .Nothing much to do anyways at home , just packed my stuffs , really I packed my accessories , my cupboard , my clothes and everything , I even almost finish my homework IN ADVANCE , see (: And, I;m trying to be more self-disciplined , so that , work wouldn't pile up like a crazy stack of only white papers with black printed words and that's all you only see . LOL , kinda bored no w, that kalishna never reply my message ! I feel like blog shopping no w, like, you now , just admire , HAHAHA , and I noe , wad I;m crazy about noe , ACCESSORIES (: Can't wait to go my cousin's house , to collect the accessories she doesn't use ! XD

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty and he said no . She asked him if he would want to be with her forever and he said no . She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry , and once again he replied with a no . She had heard enough . As she walked away , tears ... streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said ,
You're not pretty you're beautiful . I don't want to be with you forever ,
I NEED to be with you forever . And I wouldn't cry if you walked away ,
I'd die .

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-27T22:48:00.000+08:00

Fighting Spirit .

Yes I have the mood to blog again , well , I think my life sucks , yeah bye I've got nothing to say , I dun wanna go all grad-mummy story , so yeah LIFE SUCKS BYE

2010-01-27T22:02:00.002+08:00

No matter what , I'll prove it , I'll make it , DO OR DIE .

Dance yesterday , was demoralizing, bye-bye hopes for performing for Chinese New Year celebration and ACS (I) BYE BYE A BIG GOOD BYE , I NEARLY CRIED , I WAS SO DISCOURAGED , HURT AND EVERYTHING ELSE , but now I JUST FEEL I WANNA PROVE IT YO YOU , I;M WORTH BEING A MAIN DANCER , AND YOU CAN PUT ME IN GROUP ONE , ASERIYAE , I'M GOING TO HELP YOU AND HELP MYSELF MAKE OUR WISHES COME TRUE . NOW, I;M FUCKING PISS THIS IS THE WHOLE BLOODY REASON DAMN YOU .

I HAVE OFFICIALLY NO MOOD TO BLOG, I SHALL BLOG WHEN I'VE GOT THE JIVE AGAIN . I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SUCKISH .

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-25T18:49:00.000+08:00

Yearning .

I'm yearning for quality time , with friends, long lost oones , and those who always have plans on after school, and like TECHNICALLY , forget others , I MISS SAMUEL ):

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-25T18:25:00.001+08:00

Idiotic idiots , wait , if they're idiotic , aren't they idiots ?

SCHOOLED KINDA SUCKED TODAY , is the bottom line . I think Amber is fun .
GLORIA AND GRACIOUS = NO LIFE INCLUDING YI XIAN , GRACE QUEK , GRACE QUEK DAMN TWO-FACED . 3N7 , BO LIFE LORS , THEY SHOULD SERISOULY STOP RUMORS BOUT PEOPLE , AND REALLY REFLECT ON THEM , SAME GOES FOR GLORIA AND GRACIOUS .

I HATE YOU ALL , BYE .

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-23T22:30:00.004+08:00

Bulimic .

Sigh, was thinking bout how hrad training must be for dance soon , we've got so many things , well its ound little if I list them out , but THE HARD WORK THAT OCMES WITH IT , IS JUST CRAZILY SCARY .

Here , are the things , the upcoming events we've got.

1. ACS(I) interschool competition
2. Cluster Arts Festival ( tentative bout the event if , its happening )
3. Speech Day 10'
4. SMSS very own concert for charity I think ??
5. Chinese New Year Clebration 10'
6. SYF 11'
7. OUR DREAM, INTERNATIONAL COMPETITION !

WELL , I hope , I get to perform for all of it , MOST OMPORTANTLY THE INTERNATIONAL ONE ! and the ACS (I) , charity concert and CNY ! I want ! I need the points ! and the experience , omg, people say I;m may be vice or cahir for SMID , I dun wan the stress load but I wan/need the points ! HOW ?? omg, AUDIIOTNS ON ONE WEEK , AND THREE SUPER UNFAMILIAR SONGS TO GO , GOSH , GOD, I PRAY YOU'LL HELP, TAKE CONTROL OF MY FINGERS WHEN I PRACTICE AND SERVE LORD, AMEN .

Oh, and Trainer Hadi and I were talking bout life and this is wad he said TO ALL 19 CAMPERS /MONKEYS : NEVER EVER THINK OF KILLING YOURSELF OVER A BOY ! ANYTHING TALK TO UNCLE HADI ! XD (haha , he was jkjk .... bout the uncle hadi part ..)

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-23T12:46:00.002+08:00

Making it up .

Saturday , and I'm all dressed up and ready for piano calss which starts in like 4 hours ?? hahah , yeah , uhm , nothing much today , just a little shock bout twenty minutes ago , THE AUDITIONS ARE NEXT WEEK , WTF ?! omg , I hope today , My teacher help me with it , OMG , I have to wake up early , casue its from 9am - 12 pm , see , sigh , oh yesterday, I was partially sad and happy and tired , sad cause I couldn't go celebrate Dhia's and Aini's birthday ): and happy , cause I didn't miss the auditions for ACS (I) competition and tired , cause of the training for the audition , golden statue's a killer ! BUT FUN ! YAY (: I can see dancers from sec 2s maturing , that's very vely good ! HAH , BUT I think Durga totally missed her chance to show that she can actually dance , wad a stupid girl , I don't know why she depends on friends so much .

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-21T22:30:00.002+08:00

Passion for killing .

Today , the weirdest day ever . I feel so heartless , I just wanna say everything that I've been keeping inside of me , just shoot at the person that provokes me in anyway , but unfortunately I dun have the rights to that . Went to the library today , found some really deep books , but didn't interest me . BUMMER SHITXSZ . I;m starting to miss Samuel and Kris , although I see Kris almost everyday , I have a feeling we're drifting apart , sigh . And , Samuel , I can't text him anymore , My dear friend , sigh .

Tomorrow's school and I;m dreading it , I don't see a point to come to school anymore besides studying , its like the whole bloody world got their own thang and me , nope , i'm just sitting there , trying to sort things out , sigh .

Was chatting with Laura today during Chinese , and realise that Laura is actually very forgiving and she doesn't let things affect her , which is good , to bad I'm not like her , I'm terribly unforgiving , I have a scukish attitude , I come up with excuses for that , I;m such a hypocrite , I face reality too much and I don't bother bout others . People out there , don't bother having me as a friend , I'll suck . Well , Laura advised me though , that I should forgive and like move on although you cannot like bring yourself to really talk to them dun show the 90210 kinda thing , just be friends , but normal , I think more of keep the distance between there and dun go over the line ? Idk .

Today , school scuked , big time, I feel as if my friends a re drifting away from me , or its either I'm drifting away from them . But all I know , is I have one friend who needs to go somewhere with a friend everytime . It's like it'll kill for her to walk to the rubbish bin to throw something . sigh . See, I told you I've got a bad attitude .

I hate myself , you guys make me hate you .

xoxo,

2010-01-20T22:46:00.002+08:00

I wish the clock stops .

Omg, this week , is velly stressful mansxz , and its only the third day , first school I keep wanting to doze off in between lessons , sigh , best part , its only the second week of proper lessons and the third day into the second week , and this is how I'm turning out , oh wow , I can get 19 points and below at his rate - not . I need the through train thing next eyar , cause next year , I plan to go for auditinos for La Salle , and NEXT YEAR'S SYF AGAIN , SO , must really be free , I dun want it to affect my studies yknow , and I want more CCA points , I dun think I'll get that much though , these are my performances since sec one :

1. Cluster Arts Festival
2. Newtown primary national day celebration (guest performance)
3. Ulu Pandan Community Centre National Day celebration
4. Speech Day 08'
5. SYF 09'
6. CCA Fair 09'
7. CCA Fair 10'

SEE , SO LITTLE , I WANNA GET AN AI FOR MY CCA POINTS EHS , AND LIKE I NEED 25 POINTS AND ABOVE , OMG, JUST HOPE I GET IT !

Good news , I'm done with one of my audition songs for worship team , STILL , the most familiar song that I know amongst the other 4 ! Hahah , before that, I was really stressed , then I sat down and did quiet little prayer for a few seconds and the next minute , I GOT ALL MY CHORDS TOGETHER ! SEE HOW AMAZING GOD IS ! COOL UH ? YEAH , THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT WHY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ! DADDY GOD "D

Homework check :
POA , English , Math Worksheet all done (: OH SIGH FORM K , LATER MUST GO SIGN . I can't believe I'm staying up so late just to get a chance to talk to one of the trainers or to see if wad Amber said was true ! HAHAHAHA , LOL, I'M SUCH A GOON . TOMORROW , CAN COME HOME EARLYY AGAIN (: YAYY (: THEN CAN SLEEP LIKE PIGG (:

Friday, GOT INDIAN DANCE , and if this time round if any sec ones dare shout at our captain , and if I'm there I'll just answer her straight back into her face ! WHERE'S YOUR RESPECT PEOPLE ??!!

I think today's post is kinda random , at least Kalishna's coming to school tomorrow , BUT THE BLOODY IDIOTS WILL STILL BE AROUND , THAT'S JUST KNS !!

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-18T22:31:00.002+08:00

I hope I cope !

Just received the songs needed for auditions for MOPPERS (ministry of praise ... ) AND THERE'S SO MANY , sigh, thank goodness Curie's going to be our trainer , YAY ! SHE'S LIKE A GOING TO GET HER DIPLOMA IN KEYS ! SHE FINISHED HER DIPLOMA EXAM LAST YEAR ! HOW COLL'S THAT AND SHE'S 16 THIS YEAR ! YEAH I KNOW . Okay , so I hope god will give me the chords naturally ! So practice can be much faster , I feel like starting tomorrow , and skipping math remedial totally lar ! The amount of songs , I BANG , nad its my first time ever doing it , I THINK I NEED MORE LESSONS ! SIGH

had fun with durga today , we talked a lot , UT WE STILL DID STUDIED K , HAHA , yeah , and WE'RE HAVING A GATHERING WITH TRAINERS ! WOOHOO , BUT ITS NOT CONFIRMED AT ALL , HAHA , YEAH GTG BB

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-16T11:32:00.002+08:00

Stolen .

I'm bored , just bored , idk, I'm very sian today, I'm only craving to read Farhan's letter to the leaders but I'm not a leader WTF , sigh, piano class later , Idk how, I just finished scraping through everything this morning . SIGH , I WANT FARHAN'S LETTER .

AMBER , MAY SI , DENISE , SOMEONE ! JUST SEND IT TO ME !

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-15T19:52:00.007+08:00

Dying for it .

Today , had CCA FAIR ,WAS AWESOME (: Dance was okay , but nyaa , was the ful power of our dance club though ): Make-up was really simple , but I always have fun nevertheless (: OMG, I;M MORE CAMP SICK NOW , SIGH . I dun wanna talk about it , makes me more sad ): Took many pictures with lovelies (: Well , but all the hard work = very tired body , so of course I was tired and this morning when I woke up , my head was spinning , and it still was until after recess which was until 1100 hrs , from 0500-1100 hrs , omg , damn painful , and , I tell you , today , sigh , well , during CCA Fair , I felt quite okay , but somehow , I really wanted something else , I really didn't feel like doing anything , I even forced myself to eat cause I was scared I would faint , sigh . I think I wanna study on Sunday , ALL BY MYSELF , I DUN CARE IF I'M A LONER , BUT I STUDY BEST ON MY OWN . Omg, Trainer Farhan , is just the best of all I LOVE HIM , TO BE MY CAMP CHIEF ! Life at home is really suckish , I dun wanna elaborate , I'll start to get that whole bloody thing again , oh please . Class Time , Mdm Khaw , I swear I'll come to find myself shouting at you one day , i dun care if I;ma leader but ONE OF US HAS TO STAND UP FOR JUSTICE . OH JUST QUIT NAGGING AND STOP HAVING THE WRONG IMPRESSION ON US , IF YOU THINK YOU'RE NOT DOING IT , OMG, QUIT LYING TO YOURSELF ! DUN TELL ME I AM ME , HOW YOU NOE HOW I FELL , OH SHUT UP AND QUIT TALKING TO MUCH ! THERE'S A LIMIT TO PREACHING FOR TEACHERS ! xoxo, The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-13T21:01:00.002+08:00

Asleep , when you're alive ?

Kay, basically these few days - tiring , I;ve been busy with dance , crap I bet CCA Fair's going to be a bummed thang event ): EVERYTHING'S JUST SO LAST MINUTE ! Sigh , and tomorrow , IS THE REHEARSAL , sigh , I hope it all goes well ! Today , school I THINK I GOT MY CHINESE SYLLABUS B (: Oh , and during POA , I nearly fell asleep , like I was so drowsy , and Mrs Rethinam , the powderful teacher but also TOO SLOW , was kinda boring , I didn't really understand it at all , OMG , I feel liek going to F&N OR DRAMA NOW , WAH LAO EH , SIGH , IDK SHOULD I ? Drama should be easier cause its one of the arts , and the EASIEST AMONGST ALL . Crap , I dunno , NOW I'M STARTING TO MISS CAMP ALL OVER AGAIN AND I'M JEALOUS THAT 3N8 HAS A GATHERING WITH THEIR TRAINERS HUUMMPPHH !

I WANT MY CAMP BACK ! I WANT MY TRAINERS BACK !

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-11T18:15:00.003+08:00

Bitter-sweet

Life in school's not that fun anymore , I wouldn't mind if the school could change it into a camp-sorta wayy , It'll be even more fun ! I mean we'll get to do high elements and stuff and then study , can focus better , eh we get to exercise and the campsite , is full of greenery , good for Biology ! YES , THIS IS HOW MUCH I'M MISSING CAMP , and Trainer Afrin , although he's not my trainer , he broke my heart with a simple note dedicated to his class on Facebook , OM G, I NEARLY CRIED , I wished Hadi and Olivia , would do that for us , but they're too busy with they're stuffs I guess , a lot of us misses our trainers , we spent the most time with them in the camp , do or die , we'll like them somehow , and we've got to spend time with them . Well , for now I shall talk bout school .

First period , Chem and before Chem there was Spot Check and that Ms Lee , so damn particular ! Then she briefed us on Chem , yes she's our chem teacher , so she gave us a piece of worksheet , and we did it , re-cap on apparatus hahaha , then it was Bio , I dun think I'll like my teacher but I wouldn't mind her teaching me cause of her experiences , yeah , POA 's just EPIC , our teacher JUST ROCKS , I mean that's the first impression she gives to us , so yeah , I'm looking forward to POA its just that I don't have my calculator fixed yet -.- E-math , our teacher aka form teacher damn drama , like Andrea Lee ! OMG , like totally the same ! Then it was Chinese , I sat beside Laura and Dorothy's behind me and Amber sat with Dorothy I think Laura and Dorothy are nice people ! Yeah and we talked throughout the lesson our teacher , Wang Li I tell you I could barely understand wad she said sia ! FROM CHINA , omg that accent I just wanna kill so darn damn badly ! but It was nice talking to Laura and Dorothy

AFTER SCHOOL ,

I SAW ABARNA ! AFTER A SUPER LONG TIME OF MIA , I SAW ABARNA ! I SAW ABARNA ! I SAW ABARNA ! I SAW ABARNA ! I SAW ABARNA ! YES YES YES YES YES YES I DID ! AND IT WAS AWEOSME SHITXSZ (: YES HAD A GREAT TIME WITH ABARNA , EJA, VINITHA , SATHYA , NISHA , VINITHA'S FRIEND , CHAN , JAISHREE , DURGASHINI (: :D

After lunch had MRT (not the transport company but MATH REVISION TEST ) haha, yeah hope I pass although its not counted , it reflects on my foundation ew , I just hate scales and maps .

OH AND PEOPLE I DON'T LIKE ARE IN MY POA , BIO CLASS ! OMA WTF ?! I HAVE SO BLOODY MANY COMPETITIORS BUT I'LL TRY MY BEST TO SHINE OUT OF 3N9 ! IDC !

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-10T22:54:00.002+08:00

Life , it goes on .

Today , was kinda fun spent time with Samuel and Kris , well a bit stressed out in the night cause I APPARENTLY HAVEN'T GOT MY SCHOOL BOOKS YET , AND SO TOMORROW I;M RUSHING DOWN TO SCHOOL TO GET WAD I NEED FOR TOMORROW'S LESSON ONLY WTF AYTE ?! YEAH . That's it for today though , I;m still camp sick and I feel so guilty cause during service , I kept thinking bout camp , and the trainers sigh , omg , I really wanna go back ! I MISS CAMP CHIEF FARHAN THE CUTEST AMONGST ALL , TRAINER TAQIN THE HOTTEST AMONG ALL , TRAINER QAMARUL , ONE OF THE CUTEST TOO ! AND THE BESTEST TRAINERS OF ALL TRAINER HADI AND TRAINER OLIVIA ! OMG , I MISS THEM SO MUCH ! Trainer Hadi and Olivia's the best of the best ! DAMN GOOFY ! I hope they allow us to like meet up with hem to like help us get over camp sickness ?? Well trainer Olivia accepted my friend request on FB ! I LOVE ALL OF THEM ! and trainer Hadi's just the best comedian ever ! SO act-cute-cool-funny ! HAHA , but they're all AWESOME COOLNESS !

xoxo,
the Porcelain Doll

2010-01-09T12:09:00.002+08:00

Sunshines .

Life's getting brighter today , I found almost all of the trainer's FB profiles ! Yeah, how great is that uh ? Even my own ones ! Thanks to Kimberley that is , and the ever so hot Qamarul and Farhan's too! I hot + sexy Wani ! MY trainers are hot and sexy too okay ! Olivia and Hadi ! Yeah ! OMG , I just cannot believe it sia ! We can have gatherings now ! YES ! But hopefulle they can add us back and yeah , especially our trainers and hopefully when I;m 18 and if I get to La Salle , and if I;m not so busy , I wanna go back as a trainer ! Yeah , then it'll be damn cool , casue if I'm like either Hadi or Oliva's assistant trainer , it'll be like Olivia or Hadi was my trainer once and now its like we're trainer a whole new class again ! OMG , cool ayte ? I noe ! And then can get to see Farhan , Qamarul , Iqbal , Wani , Taqin and yeah ! But have to see how life is I can't just join like that , I needa see my schedule too , cause music school isnot gonna be easy and I know it , diploma piece is already 19 pages long , and plus just pray that I'll have time to go fort he trainer's course and have time to spare for a 4 to 5 day cam ! And if its S.T Marg's It'll be POWER and FOO YO! and STLYO ! MILO ! exactly ! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG !

xoxo,
Porcelain Doll

2010-01-08T15:56:00.003+08:00

Camp Sickness .

I miss the flying fox
I miss the challenge pole although it freaked me out
I miss the high elements on ropes
I miss the challenge valley
I miss survival cooking
I miss freaking out when you see a toad while showering
I miss eating breakfast / lunch / dinner with the trainers
I miss slacking with them even after lights out
I miss Hadi's sarcasm
I miss Olivia's crazy laghters
I miss Camp Chief Farhan and his Bimbo cheer
I miss Trainer Q and his smacking head at my class
I miss the whale watch
I miss the climbing wall
I miss the night walk
I miss joy's dance
I miss the cheers
I miss the site
I miss the cricket's sounds
I miss the chilliness
I miss the A - huts
I miss the dormitories
I miss the tents
I miss the meals
I miss the campfire
I miss the super touching video
I miss Chief assistant Wani
I miss Trainer Taqin and his goofy-ness
I miss Trainer Iqbal , the killer clown
I miss Trainer Marcus and all his claps
I miss the smell of the site when its at night
I miss walking in the mud
I miss the green stylo-milo motorbike
I miss the times when we rush to one point to another
I miss playing with trainer Hadi's iPhone
I miss playing with Trainer Hadi's iPod and laughing at his cover
I miss showering there with the cool water
I miss the campfire skit put up by the trainers
I miss the milo pond
I miss carrying the Kayaks
I miss walking to the beach to carry the Kayak
I miss disturbing Olivia and Hadi
I miss the smell of the heavy rain
I miss Hadi's ghost experiences
I miss sliding down the milo pond
I miss doing the Sarimbun Challenge
I MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT CAMP , FROM HEAD TO TOE !

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2010-01-02T22:19:00.002+08:00

It's the new year- New Beginning - New Chapter of Life .

Its 2010 and it doesn't even feel like it is, all I can think of is spending time with friends in school, catching up with them and everything , going for LYnC , piano examination , CCA's international competition , sec 3 camp . My biggest fear, sec 3 math , how am I suppose to cope ? I can't even do sec 2 math properly , speak bout sec 3 ? sigh , and I hope I stay in through train then I won't need to suffer with N levels and work my ass off just to pass math . I think I need help , not from tuition teachers to coach me, but from friends who are willing to help , getting down to serious business , and yeah making a difference in my math , hopefully , I can pass this time round , its always a- I- can during lessons and when it comes to exams, its a - I - so - cannot - do - it , sigh, my mum say sits cause I dun have confidence in my answers , but god knows why I;m like that, someone , help , please , help ! I wanna go for the international competition ! I need to do well before I can head overseas !

Oh , and the first day of school is coming and I've got the jitters , sigh , but the thought of meeting my friends just gets me going ! (: Yeah, but school friends aren't so great like church friends , I mean you can really sense the difference , church friends are most of the time there for you and you hardly get conflicts with them but in school , its on after another and you try so hard to just pull through all of it . Well , this year two suckish juniors , wait they're not even fit to be my juniors , Sandra Yu and Grace Lin omg , someone , save me . HAHA , actually I don't give a shit bout them , but if they dare try to anything nasty , they'll see the dark side of me . But I know they won't haha, I'm crapping , they're too guaii to do those things , they want to act paikias sigh sigh , wad to do , wad to do . And one is a pastor's daughter mind you .

I just feel like typing my whole life through today , I dunno why , but yeah , okay I shall just pour my feelings out ? Okay , I dun think I like you anymore , with your attitude like that , you've got the looks , but you've got personality and wads a person with no personality , really , its nothing maybe you're still not matured , but most people at this age, they already are quite matured . Sigh . I think I shall just take it slow . I hope school , will be boomsxz this year almost the whole of 2/8 09' is in 3/9 09' which is my class (: :D yeah (: Hope we rock the class , but thinking of the people in it, gracious , gloria , chrysan , andrea lee omg , at least Cheryl's outta my life ! Well just wish that this year, I'll stay back from all bi's I've got to put the line , I'm not a lesbian but yeah, get this , I'm totally straight , I dun have time to date this shit heads bunks .

So yupp , that's bout it I guess ? Hahah , I wanna go to my cuzzie's house real soon !

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

P:S Maybe I wanna stpo calling myself THE PORCELAIN DOLL , its getting on me.

2009-12-31T19:15:00.002+08:00

Confusion .

Sigh , its a day more to twenty-ten and I'm not that happy , I think this year was great ! HAHAS , yeah but tomorrow , I'm having an open house for New Year's day , but oh-wells , its strictly for relatives so I;m sorry people I love out there ! Tonight , midnight service again and I don't think any Lync-ers will be there ): Krsi is coming though ! YAY (: Samuel an Aniq Most prolly , not wadever luh , its like when I text them they're so boring but when face to face , omg , you laugh so hard you could pee a litre ! Yeah , sec 3 math , i hate you , I dunno how I'm going to cope nest year's list of events .

-International Competition
-CCA Fair
-Sec 3 Camp
-Piano Exam

and the usuals , MYEs , EOYs , school events blah balh k , i hate you (?) bye , idk wads wrong with me but yeah , bye I love you !

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2009-12-29T21:39:00.002+08:00

Loves and Misses.

-I MISS CHURCH
-I MISS LYNC
-I MISS KRISTINA
-I MISS ANNE-MARIE
-I MISS DURGA
-I MISS VINITHA
-I MISS CURIE
-I MISS KYLIE
-I MISS BELLA
-I MISS DHIA
-I MISS AZMEERA
-I MISS JAZLINA
-I MISS CHURCH
-I MISS SINGING WORSHIP SONGS
- I MISS VAL LIM'S WARM-UPS/CHOREOGRAPHY
-I MISS TESSA SEET'S ADVICES
-I MISS VAL CHENG BEING MY CELL LEADER
-I MISS WEI JUN'S CONNECTED CLOTHES SERIES
-I MISS NISHA AND HIGH PITCHED LAUGHTER
-I MISS ANIQ AND SAMUEL'S CRAZINESS
-I MISS CCIS PRACTICES
-I MISS HAVING DANCE FLOORS DURING CCIS DANCE WARM-UPS
-I MISS THE GOOFY STUFFS THAT WE DO IN CHURCH
-I MISS EATING CHIPPY'S
-I MISS JO AND CURLING OF THE EYELASHES(:
-I MISS VAN CHENG'S RANDOM PHOT0GRAPHY
-I MISS MARCUS'S HYPER PRAISE TIME
-I MISS LYNC'S SERVICE

I WANNA GO BACK TO CHURCH!
I WANNA SEE ALL MY LOVED ONES!

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2009-12-28T19:53:00.002+08:00

What The Love Of God Have Done To Me(:

I'm starting to love LYnC very much. I'm starting to love people at LYnC very much. I can't imagine year 2010 with less church activities. But i know church activities are for serving God. I'm gonna pray for a miracle. I shall handle my time planning. God shall handle my mom's decisions. HAHAHA. Anne, I totally agree with you, I mean Church have become one of the important things in my life, well not my morning service but my youth ministry, I feel as if my relationship with god is improving and I noe how to do it, and I don't go to church for the sake of going anymore, I go cause I really really want to pour my heart out to god especially during worship although I talk a lot during sermon, well, I try my best not to, LYnC is special, somehow, you'll start loving the people there and that is wad motivates you to come to church!And they are wayy different from your school friends, you can have a heart to heart talk forever and they won't let it out but they'll just advice you, its cool, really I think non-christians should really really esperience the love of god, I mean its phenomenal, its better than your husband loving you, if you're married, better than your boyfriend loving you if you're single, better than your parents loving you!

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2009-12-26T21:00:00.002+08:00

Christmas.

It was sure gloomy, but at night was fun awesome shitxsz(: UNcle Hussain and family came over! HAHAHA, had lotsa fun and Shaistah did henna for me(: Awww, I love you! HAHA, i lvoe her hanne! DAMN PRETTY(: Then today, nothing much uh just chiil round watching Chirstmas movies I tell you, you guys should watch Holiday in Handcuffs, damn nice/touching! Now, At least I've got something to look forward to! TOMORROW'S LYNC'S PROM CUM X'MAS PARTY, 9 AM SERVICE WITH FRIENDS, LAU PA SAT WITH FRIENDS CRASHING OF SOMEONE'S HOUSE! hahahaha! YEAH BABY!

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2009-12-24T17:42:00.002+08:00

Rest In Peace

Today, my morning was shattered by a very sad news, one of my dearest passed on, omg, I LOVE MY MY DEAR, TIMES TOGETHER WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN although we don't really talk that much now, but still, you were part of my life, and that's the most important thing that matters.

I don't feel like updating now, but I'll be brief, yesterday, was awesome shitsxz, with the WHOLE LYnC(: I'm starting to really really enjoy LYnC and the people there! Yes, church friends have now become an important part of my life, I'd rather have school in church then school in schools, sigh, see? haha, lol. Sigh the people that I really wanna talk to are not responding, oh sigh, I shall just let time heal my wound then.

Bunny dear, I'll miss your presence around in school, do rest in peace, you deserve a good rest although you were really foolish to do wad you did,

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2009-12-22T16:34:00.002+08:00

Celebrating Christmas In Singapore!

I was wacthing our performance on facebook earlier! HAHA, the indoor sucks, but if LIVE damn nice! Outdoor, haven't seen it yet haha, tomorrow's the second performance! YAY(: But when we were performing, there was a lot for people that got attracted to our item! I can't wait! WILL UPLOAD PICTURES OF CCIS! (: Oh, and I must say, I;'ve started to learn to love god these few days, I think LYnC is kind of the right youth I'm suppose to go to, nothing's confirmed casue anything can happen!

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2009-12-19T23:59:00.003+08:00

The Next Level.

Today, training was good, Val made me realise something, well, as I know, I'm participating in CCIS cause I wanna spread the word of god, but how? Val said, although we have everything in our dance, we're missing something, that's bringing the dance to a Ministry Level, and I was scratching my head on how to do it, and I asked Tessa, like few hours back, she said I must be on the right track with god, have quality time with hi, but it's still for me to find out how I;m going to go into a relationship with god, so I have to keep praying, which also reminds me of how bad a christian I am, I mean, look at me, am I even a good example for a non-christian to follow? Why was I so dumb! I missed so many boats, to get closer to get! ARRGGHH!

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2009-12-19T00:25:00.003+08:00

Not lying, just denying,

I know, its been really a long time since I last blogged, and I miss using the comp so much! HAHA, so here I go starting from the 16 since, today, nothing much is happening yet?

16 December, Wednesday.

I had a blast, I bonded with Aniq and Samuel! HAHA, they are damn funny! I tell you, I ate dinner with them and everything after CCIS dance training and went for vocals after that, HAHAH, I'm not oign into details bout wad happened, hee hee(: But had lotsa fun, after vocals, I gathered, Sam, Aniq, Kris, Anne, and Nisha and we all went home together, HAHAHA, I can just keep laughing when I think bout this particular day!

17 December, Thursday.

I was late for practice cause I came after piano, and piano ended damn earlyy, 15 minutes earlyy?? I dunno wads with my teacher? Dance practice started at like 3 and my piano starts at 3 and then it suppose to end at 1545, but instead it ended at 1530? YEAH, see wad I mean?? Then headed down to City Hall, church(: for practice, and it wasn't that good, though don't tell me bout it, yeah I dun wanna talk bout the dark side of life for now, I;m trying to straighten things out though, and I just dun wan to remind myself how horrible it was or is? See, I;m still confused bout my life, sigh.

18 December, Friday.

VALERIE LIM CAME BACK!(: WE GOT TO DO HER WARM UPS! (:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:

CCIS PRACTICE SUCKED BIG TIME.

Today,

I'm waiting for practice to start again cause, I CAN GET TO DO VAL LIM'S WARM UPS! YEAH(: At least there's something to look forward to although the other part all sucks. I dun like, our leader. AND, I can look forward to dining with Aniq and Samuel and this time, with Kris too! OMG, I hope everything goes well(:

Anne, get well soon!

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2009-12-15T07:47:00.002+08:00

Midnight lovers

HAHA, I know, its so early for a person like me to be awake right?? HAHAHA, Idk, I automatically woke up at 0630 then, i couldn't sleep anymore): Yeah, so here I am blogging(: Yesterday was the first day of dance training from 12-6 pm! IT WAS WORTH IT, The time was very well organized, but, hopefully Aniq and Samuel can come on time today, Well, Nich was there too, HAHAHAHAHAHA, we made him buy drinks for us, but he also didn't mind lar, so, had milk tea, which wasn't that nice, HAHAHA, then dance dance dance dance dance, I tell you Aniq and Samuel, are likle damn damn funny! HAHAHAH, Too lazy to go in details luhh, so, I;m totally looking forward to today's training again! But I need these items,

1: A pair of Sneakers ( Size 40-41 or UK 8-9)
2: A green tank top

Yeah, that's bout it, SO, if you have any of these, PLEASE TELL ME, I NEED IT BUY THURSDAY. THANKS A MILLIONSXZ(:

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2009-12-13T14:40:00.002+08:00

Shine His Light!

I'M CRAZY OVER WONDER WHY BY AVALON(: ITS THE BEST CHRISTIAN SONG EVER! damn nice(: Trust me, and I'm dancing to it for CCIS! YAY(: HAHAHAHA, Din't go LYnC today, too tired, and I thought daddy wanted us to paint the house but he never buy the paint -.- Yupp, you should go see Durga's blog! For tips on makeup! DAMN GOOD, I'll try it soon(: Like during Christmas? Yeah(: Fuck, I miss Kris, its been a while since I last saw her, sigh,

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll

2009-12-12T16:16:00.000+08:00

Joke Of The Day!

One day two old ladies were standing outside the nursing home casually having a smoke. After being outside for a while it started to rain on them. Suddenly, one of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and slipped it over her cigarette. The other lady asked, “What’s that for?” The first replied, “It’s to keep my cigarette dry when I’m outside smoking and it starts to rain.” The second lady said, “That’s a pretty crafty idea.” The following day the old lady went to the drugstore to get some condoms. She walked in and told the clerk, “I’d like some condoms please.” The clerk looked at the old lady, rather baffled at why she would need condoms. However, he asked, “What brand would you like, Madam?” The old lady smiled and replied, “I don’t care what brand you give me, as long as it fits a Camel.

Came across this at Nicholas's Tumblr! HAHAHAH!

2009-12-12T14:00:00.003+08:00

Gone, with the wind.

Dance:
This week, I've been out everyday, LOL, HAHAHA, Yeah, hmmm, dance training yesterday for CCIS wasn't too bad(: I enjoyed it(: Tessa's Cousin, Valerie, is really nice(: HHAHAHA, unfortunately, her younger sister isn't :/ HAHAH, it was the fast dance training yesterday(: I'm dancing the fast dance! Actually I wan do both slow and fast, slow easier to bring out the emotion,fast, although very energetic, the expressions is harder to bring it to the audience. Well, I like the story line of the fast dance(: HAHAHA, there's freestyle in it(: I suggested to do lifting(: HAHA, they want me to the cartwheels and splits and everything, hmm. I think, we should do conjetes YEAH! HAhahaha, but none of ours are the ideal ones, sads): We received stares, from SMSS band members training for their Polka concert, (....)

Vocals:
Vocals was really good! We had lots of spectators, HAHAHAH, yeah, cause yesterday was SMSS, polka concert so people came to watch, well it was held in our church, at the CNS, and our training was at the Prayer halls which is just outside the CNS, and since Julian was the drummer dude, Valerie was lead singer, Alexandra was the keyboardist, Curie was the pianist, Jon Kwok and Ivan was the bass, Iggy and Wei Jun was the guitarists, and back up singers us- (many people lar), we were LOUD , really really LOUD, so during our practices, they were people leaving the CNS, I dunno why then they stop then they STARE through the glass doors of the Prayer Halls, LOL, they were SO curious! But I'd say, we were really good yesterday(: I'd also say, WE'RE IMPROVING! But all I need is my parents co-operation, sigh, wad Val(Tessa's cousin) said was right, oh well, I just have to keep praying and leave everything to God(:!

Homework check:

English:
0/3 book reviews
40/100 expressions

Math:
0/1 worksheet.

I still have so many more to go, sigh.

Just Do Your Best And Let GOD Do The Rest!

xoxo,
The Porcelain Doll